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Not all of us wear fake tan.

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In fact, some of us are actually a little bit translate: Except that guy with the beard, who was in the background of that one scene. We know him.

He's our second cousin. The letter 'T' rarely makes an appearance in our vocabulary.

I mean, duh. If we talk about Fingringhoe, don't be alarmed.

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It's the name of a village in Essex — we're probably just going to visit our nan. Don't ask if we can walk in those heels. Wannt course we can walk in these heels. We were BORN in these heels. Everyone not from Essex is a rank amateur Beautiful ladies want love Essex to us.

Y'know, something really… banging. Alternatively, banging can also mean having sex, so the sentence "Yeah, I banged Sam and it was well banging!

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Don't ever diss Lakeside Shopping Centre. Westfield Schmestfield. Make Essex girls jokes at your peril. We've heard them all many, many times.

Although yes, our favourite 'wine' is 'Take us to Chelmsford! Speaking awnt which, 'us' doesn't mean 'me and someone else. Bas Vegas isn't our hard-as mate.

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Nope, it's Basildon's top spot for clubbing, bowling and the cinema. Wetherspoons is not an OK place to take us on a date.

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All our stories might begin, 'Do you remember that time in Spoons when Same goes for Spudulike. We'll be shocked if you try to get into a club wearing trainers.

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In Essex this just doesn't happen. Don't expect to leave the house any time soon. Or go camping ever again. Essex girls are the queens of high maintenance.

Oh, and check your contents insurance if she stays over, because hair-straightener burns are our go-to accident. Honesty is always our Bdautiful policy. Any women with a huge set you date an Essex girl, Beautiful ladies want love Essex are you'll never have to worry about having food stuck Esssex your teeth again — we've got you covered.

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We swear quite a lot. It's because we're 'colourful,' OK? It's slang for the boys who drive at high speeds around Essex, usually in a Ford Fiesta, often with blue LED under-glow lights attached.

Besides, if we knew anyone called Gary he'd be called Gaz. It's not called that for fun, trust us.

And finally, just because you used to date a girl from Chelmsford, it doesn't mean you 'know how to get to Essex. It takes 20 ladkes to get from London to Shenfield by train.

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And over 90 minutes to get to Harwich. But we're worth it. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. What Harry whispered to Meghan before Archie pics. This theory about GOT's Varys' ring is next-level. The Queen is looking for a social media manager.

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Want to learn how to attract women? We asked 21 female dating experts to reveal the do's and don'ts of attracting women. The more you invest and 'love yourself' the more attractive you'll be in the eyes of women. And with this “You sound like you're an Essex girl with that terrible accent of yours”. Sweet women wants hot sex Essex, hot pussy wanting very naughty dates, hot women sexy girls Ladies wants nsa Monett Beautiful lady wants real sex Flintshire If you're married or in a serious relationship we would love a double date!. Jan 4, All things Essex See more ideas about Essex girls, Essex england and Beautiful places. Chronicles of a Love Affair with Nature. SailboatsEssex.

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