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Conversations, like hammocks, are much easier to get into than out of. We can physically exit the room.

I wish society would get together and agree on a kill-switch emoji for every hard conversation. This problem is magnified in hetero dating scenarios.

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Men and women are socialized differently, and a lot of the burden of carrying a conversation is placed on women. My female friends, on the other hand, are much more likely to write me a paragraphs-long text to clarify what they think we should do this weekend.

I get it: Enthusiasm is vulnerability for men, but being vulnerable is part of dating.

And would it kill you to use an exclamation point once? Throw your partner a bone.

Nothing on this earth is hotter than a guy showing a tiny bit of enthusiasm. Whoever told all men born before that they should seem as bored as possible when dating should be in jail.

First of all, never ever use the eggplant emoji seriously. Secondly, use the single emoji reply sparingly.

Like cocaine, there is a time and a place for a single emoji: If someone asks you a question, you cannot reply with a single emoji. A single emoji takes less effort than a fart. If someone asks you a question, respond.

If someone tells you something personal, or if wkrk did something kind for you, you may not respond with an emoji. Not even hallelujah hands.